Told You So

My complaints about recent fashion trends aren't a secret. I've blogged and talked about it with anyone who would listen. Basically, my point has always been: These things (80s fasion, bubble skirts, tops and dresses that make you look pregnant) aren't flattering, therefore should not be worn.

Anna Wintour, in her "letter from the editor" has been laughing at me for months, promoting the "new volume" and other weird ideas. However, it seems that I'm no longer the only one who thinks that while the empress isn't naked, her new clothes are giving her proprtions that belong in a circus. In the latest issue of Vogue, the featured question on "Ask Mrs. Exter" is this:

"... I am dating again and need a wardrobe that is sexy but not tawrdy, that shows curves rather than throws ironic curve balls that only fashionistas understand.
...Dresses are the big news in the current collections, I see, but I am dissuaded by many of the styles, such as the baby doll, the Empire waist, party poufs, and those frocks I can describe only as tulips extermis. Where can I find pretty, pleasing dresses that are not too short, too sheer, or too weird to please a man, and please myself, Mrs. Exter?"

Mrs. Exter offers some insight. From the idea behind the creation of Empire style (Napoleon pushed it at a time he was all about promoting French fertility and worried that the corset interfered with pregnancy), to the forgotten secret that "The waist is one of the more seductive zones a lady has to show for herself!".

She goes on to chat with the owner of a trendy fashion store from Dallas, Brian Bolke. He tells her: "Men understand anything with a waist. They don't understand Empire or baby doll. I can't tell you how many dresses we've had returned because although somebody amazingly chic has bought something amazingly chic, she nonetheless walked down the stairs of her house and her husband said, 'What in the hell are you wearing?' "

Can I get a big Hallelujah here? Seriously, what Mr. Bolke is saying is very simple: Men see women's clothes in simple terms. A dress is either pretty and flattering or it isn't.
My question is: If it's not making you look pretty, why wear it? Maybe someone is going to wake up from this design nightmare and start making beautiful clothes again.

Pictures are from Style.com (there's plenty more ridiculous stuff where it came from).